Friday, August 13, 2010

where oh where have those six and a half months gone?


Yeah. You missed me so much, I just know it.

I want to say clever things in this post. I wish I could post some photos of delicious vegan dishes I have made along with a novelty toy placed in the middle of the dish. It would be cool if I had something profound to declare, some sage advice to give. But I'm tired.

So that's exactly what I want to discuss right now: Tiredness. Sleepiness. Xtreme laziness.

I am not typically a lethargic individual. In fact, I have evidence on tape of me as a youngen quite literally bouncing off the walls. I am known to my family and those close to me a ball of energy. I have never been able to sit still (which sometimes proves to be difficult in my meditation practice, no doubt). So it has come as a surprise, disappointment, and cause for concern that lately my energy level is waaay low. I tend to get 7-8 hours of sleep. I get exercise daily. Fresh air, check. Sun, check. I take a multi-vitamin. What's my deal?

There are a few things I know must contribute, whether large or small, to my sluggishness. One being my far-too-much intake of caffeine on a daily basis. I need to quit this addiction, I really do. I am sure this chemically dependency plays a big part in my up and down (especially down) mood. But I also think that my diet has been contributing perhaps just as much to this roller coaster.

In the past few months, my good old trusty friends Depression and Anxiety have been a bit too clingy. And they make me crave processed foods, energy drinks (funny, since it does nothing but increase the anxiety), and late night mindless eating binges. I still eat relatively healthy, but nowhere near the way I was eating when I was vegan. I remember having almost too much energy while on a vegan diet. And food was actually fun, fresh, and flavorful. I miss cooking. I miss caring for my body and what goes in it. And I actually miss nutritional yeast, damnit!

So here's the thing: I start small. I begin by cooking something simple and easy maybe once a day or at least every other day. I ease off on the caffeine and chemically foods. No overwhelming myself here, just slowly starting to steer myself back onto the path of good nutrition and good health. Why? Because I deserve it.

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