i want to fu. i mean, i want tofu.

So, remember my digestion woes in my last post? They are long gone. For the most part. I think some of it has to do with my body getting used to the BEST DIET EVER, but I think a lot of it has to do with me taking B12 vitamins and acidophilus. It is possible to find cheap vegan-friendly B12 vitamins (I bought 2 bottles, which is 400 pills, at Albertsons for about six dollars total). It is also possible to love tofu, which I do. And you. Deeply.

digestion woes

It's been awhile. Don't get me wrong-- veganism is going strong, it's just the blogging part where I am weak. But I am back and ready to dive into quite the embarrassing subject... Digestion.

I don't know if it's because of my new diet or just some bug that's going around, but lately I have felt pretty bloated and, well, uhhh... gassy. Uh oh.

I have always had digestion issues, so if veganism is going to make my digestion an even bigger pain, then I will definitely have a decision to make: save the animals or save my stomach.

Any tips? Will my tum tum (um, I mean CRAP FACTORY) start feeling better once I start getting used to my "trendy" diet?

In the meantime, I will be here poppin' Pepto and sippin' licorice tea.

Lunch Box Longings

This girl has been vegan for one week and two days. Nine full days of no dairy. And you know what? It has not been that difficult. I worry that my xxxtreme bu$yness this semester will make veganism a bit more of a challenge. I anticipate spending most of my waking hours at the school, and the school is a place of few vegan options (which we can all hopefully change someday soon). A vegan girl (and guy) can only eat so many salad bar spinach leaves and Clif Bars purchased from Scoops before things start getting pretty bland (which is kind of a lie, though-- I can't get enough of spinach and Banana Nut Bread Clif Bars, but I suppose it's good to switch things up a bit, right?). In order to save money, I try to sometimes pack my own lunches. But all I ever end up packing are boring sandwiches that end up soggy. What are some delicious and delightful (and quick and easy, of course) meals I can bring from home to school?

Today I ate a giant steak wrapped in raw bacon. I washed it down with a glass of gravy. Am I joking? Read on to find out.

Yesterday I made some vegan banana bread. I didn't want to go to the store to buy some of the ingredients that some of the better sounding recipes called for, so I just used a really basic recipe. I was certain the bread was going to be pretty goshdamn dry, but it actually didn't turn out too bad. I think I will make a vegan pineapple upside down cake next. OR just buy the pumpkin chocolate chip cookies at Smith's WHICH ARE VEGAN. Thank you, Smith's, for accidentally providing vegans with a delicious treat.

So for those of you who are vegan or have been vegan at some point in your life, I have a question-- How has your body reacted to being vegan? Do you have more energy? Can you digest food easier? Have you lost weight? I guess that was more than one question... So sue me. Really. Hire a lawyer, take me to court, put me in jail, and then bring me a vegan pineapple upside down cake while I am sitting in my cell. I will love you forever if you do.

Oh. And I guess I was joking about my steak and bacon meal, but NOT about my glass of gravy. Okay, so I was joking about that, too... UNFORTUNATELY.

I enTREAT you to send me some TREAT recipes... Basically, could you just send me some vegan dessert recipes?

This morning I sat under the bodhi tree (well, it was actually a maple tree or a pine tree or maybe even a telephone pole-- basically, it was just a tall object that I can't identify, but that I know is not a bodhi tree because, well, come on-- Orem isn't known for bodhi trees, but it is known for telephone poles, which is actually a lie. It isn't known for telephone poles at all. It is known for strip malls and Bunko parties.) and ate a vegan feast of seitan and quinoa and peppers and onions and teriyaki sauce. It was just microwaved leftovers, but eating it in a park underneath the bodi telephone pole (and uncomfortably close to the restrooms and small children) while reading Buddhist scriptures was just shy of nirvana. Lovely.

Now if only I could have had a vegan dessert to go with my reheated grub...

Does anyone have any delicious and EASY vegan dessert recipes? I emphasize easy for a reason. I would much rather have the dessert be disgusting and easy than delicious and complicated. "Complicated" to me, by the way, means more than, oh, five ingredients. I'm not going to be winning any baking contests anytime soon.

IF YOU READ NOTHING ELSE, READ THIS: SEND ME VEGAN DESSERT RECIPES! ALSO, DO YOU REMEMBER THE TELEVISION SHOW MY TWO DADS? WITH PAUL REISER? WTF? OR NIGHT COURT? WITH THAT MAGICIAN JUDGE AND THE BALD DUDE? WTF? WWJW? WHAT WOULD JESUS WATCH?

goodbye cottage cheese, hello food that sounds like "satan" but tastes like heaven

I've been a vegan since Monday, kids. That's three whole days. And here is a list of everything that has been difficult:

*giving up cottage cheese
*giving up cheese in general
*trying to convince people that I am not doing this for trendy reasons, but rather for ethical and health reasons
*trying to convince my mother that I am not starving

I actually have not had to convince anyone yet that I am not doing this for trendy reasons. And even if people thought that, I don't think I would care. I would just egg their car with a six dollar box of Ener-G egg replacer.

Things that have not been difficult:

*making delicious vegan meals
*feeling healthier and having more energy

I am so proud of myself for making TWO vegan dishes in the past three days. If you know me at all (and you do! you read my blog! you know my soul!), you know that the most complicated I get culinary-wise is having to stop the microwave halfway through the cooking time in order to turn my veggie burrito 180 degrees.

Here is what I made:

*seitan sauté with bell peppers
*baked teriyaki tofu and peppers

I have also had some pretty stellar spinach salads and hallucinatory hummus sandwiches. (Note: The hummus sandwiches do not actually cause hallucinations. I used the word because thesaurus.com told me that "hallucinatory" was a synonym for "awesome" and I wanted to keep up with the alliteration. But wouldn't that be shit rad kick ass hella cool if chickpeas were the vegan's lysergic acid diethylamide? I mean, I guess vegan's can partake in Scooby Doo-themed sugar cubes, right? It's just a picture, not the actual dog. Scooby Doo was the dog, right? Wow, I am really off track.)

The physical benefits of veganism have been fairly noticeable so far. I feel more energetic than I do when I drink coffee. I have the energy that coffee provides, but without the jitters. I also feel... Nicer? And lighter. And bad ass... BUT NOT BECAUSE IT'S TRENDY! Really, though-- is it even trendy anymore? I feel like the new trend, thanks to that bitch Stephanie Meyer, is blood lust. And kiddos, the only lust I have these days is lysergic acid diethylamide lust... Uh, I mean, tofu lust. Yeah. Tofu.

So anyway, stay tuned for my sudden disinterest in veganism and my subsequent gorging on cottage cheese. JOKE! I hope...