Wednesday, August 19, 2009

goodbye cottage cheese, hello food that sounds like "satan" but tastes like heaven

I've been a vegan since Monday, kids. That's three whole days. And here is a list of everything that has been difficult:

*giving up cottage cheese
*giving up cheese in general
*trying to convince people that I am not doing this for trendy reasons, but rather for ethical and health reasons
*trying to convince my mother that I am not starving

I actually have not had to convince anyone yet that I am not doing this for trendy reasons. And even if people thought that, I don't think I would care. I would just egg their car with a six dollar box of Ener-G egg replacer.

Things that have not been difficult:

*making delicious vegan meals
*feeling healthier and having more energy

I am so proud of myself for making TWO vegan dishes in the past three days. If you know me at all (and you do! you read my blog! you know my soul!), you know that the most complicated I get culinary-wise is having to stop the microwave halfway through the cooking time in order to turn my veggie burrito 180 degrees.

Here is what I made:

*seitan sauté with bell peppers
*baked teriyaki tofu and peppers

I have also had some pretty stellar spinach salads and hallucinatory hummus sandwiches. (Note: The hummus sandwiches do not actually cause hallucinations. I used the word because told me that "hallucinatory" was a synonym for "awesome" and I wanted to keep up with the alliteration. But wouldn't that be shit rad kick ass hella cool if chickpeas were the vegan's lysergic acid diethylamide? I mean, I guess vegan's can partake in Scooby Doo-themed sugar cubes, right? It's just a picture, not the actual dog. Scooby Doo was the dog, right? Wow, I am really off track.)

The physical benefits of veganism have been fairly noticeable so far. I feel more energetic than I do when I drink coffee. I have the energy that coffee provides, but without the jitters. I also feel... Nicer? And lighter. And bad ass... BUT NOT BECAUSE IT'S TRENDY! Really, though-- is it even trendy anymore? I feel like the new trend, thanks to that bitch Stephanie Meyer, is blood lust. And kiddos, the only lust I have these days is lysergic acid diethylamide lust... Uh, I mean, tofu lust. Yeah. Tofu.

So anyway, stay tuned for my sudden disinterest in veganism and my subsequent gorging on cottage cheese. JOKE! I hope...


  1. By Lucifer's Beard! That's a badass title. Your blog's, I mean, not By Lucifer's Beard. Though that would be a badass title in its own right.

  2. yeah vegan! i wish i were cooking more these days. i've been living on popcorn and fresca. or brown rice w/ sriracha.

    it does make you FEEL so much better. like, "hey body, i'm not poisoning you anymore."

    i love you!

  3. I used to alone and sad and ugly... but then I went vegan and everything was instantly better!

    Okay, I guess it wasn't quite that life changing, but it's actually made a really positive difference in my life. I think it's so awesome that you're doing this, and for all the right reasons no less! Here and I just assumed you were doing it to be trendy... little did I know!

    If you want to see something uber-cool check this out. Put in your dietary habits from before going vegan and it tells you roughly how many animals you save and how much CO2 you prevent by going vegan:

  4. And now you're going to get super powers too. Vegan super powers...or at least that's what Scott Pilgrim taught me. It almost makes it worth it. But I had a hard enough time being vegetarian.